Have you ever heard that statement by Annie Lamott before?
"NO is a complete sentence!!!"
Meaning you don’t need to provide an explanation for your "No", unless YOU WANT TO.
As a recovering people pleaser, I know how hard and stressful it can be to say « No » to people you care about, a boss or a supervisor, especially if you are the type who hates confrontations. But do you know what is HARDER? To keep saying « No » to YOURSELF.
Every time you say « Yes » when you really want to say « No », you are telling yourself that YOUR OWN NEEDS ARE NOT VALID, or that they are less important than the request of the other person.
And that is not a good place to be mentally.
Being in constant contradiction with our true feelings will eventually create frustration that will lead to anger, detachment, bitterness, mental and physical illnesses. Why? Because we have started a war inside of us by denying our true desire, and our inner self is fighting back by trying to remind us that WE (our person, our needs, our joy, our time, etc..) ARE IMPORTANT AS WELL!!!
Of course, there are times where we will have to make some concessions. And there are situations where we won't have a choice, but to do what we were asked to do, regardless of how we may feel. That's life, and we just have to make peace with that part.
Those are not the type of situations I am referring to in this post.
I am talking about times where you could have said "No"... you could have chosen to put yourself first, but you didn't, and ended up being miserable.
As I stated at the beginning, I am a recovering people pleaser. And in my own journey, I have learned a thing or two on how to strengthen my "No" voice in life. So my advice to you is START":
Saying "NO" without feeling guilt.
Saying "NO" without providing an explanation.
Saying "NO" to maintain your sanity.
Saying "NO" to remind yourself and others that your needs and happiness matter too.
But most importantly, start saying "NO" so that next time, someone tells you "No", you don't get mad at them for their "No", but welcome it as a reminder that you too have the right to your "No" when that's what you really want.
If you agree and enjoy this post, or just would like to give a different point of view, please Like and drop me a Comment. And if you know a friend who might benefit from this post, please share it with them.
Until next time,
Emma
🙌🏾🙌🏾
Women are mainly guilty of this, especially wive, girlfriend, etc. I myself 🙋🏾♀️. It isn’t a good feeling and I am at a constant battle within me. I have made a conscious decision and effort to transform my mind and heart therefore changing my behavior towards pleasing others rather than me.